Luca Tzimas stalked and sexually assaulted me. Luca put a tracker in my backpack. Several days later, I found it and gave it back to him. Within the following week, he assaulted me at an off-campus Phi Alpha Delta event. This site records what happened, the evidence I preserved, and the institutional response that followed.
Luca first entered my life as my teaching assistant. He later became part of the same pre-law organization and social circles I occupied. Familiarity made his presence ordinary. It did not make what followed ordinary.
Several days later, I found it and gave it back to him. I did not understand the incident then with the clarity I have now. In the chronology of what followed, it was not an isolated piece of weirdness. It was stalking.
He restrained me, hit me, and choked me while I fought to get away. I looked toward the door, trying to get out.
I protested and fought back. He continued. He was sober; I was intoxicated.
Bruising marked my thighs and arms, and my neck remained injured after the choking. I sought medical care and underwent a sexual-assault forensic examination.
This is the progression I experienced before the assault. “Grooming” is my interpretation of that progression, not a substitute for the facts of the assault.
Our relationship began inside a course, with an academic role and an information imbalance.
Academic contact became social familiarity and trust.
He entered the same pre-law organization and overlapping social environments.
He put a tracking device in my backpack. Several days later, I found it and returned it to him.
Within the following week, he sexually assaulted me.
I use the term to describe the progression I experienced. RAINN describes grooming through features such as trust, access, role creep, secrecy, boundary violations, and control. In adult abuse, related concepts can include coercion, monitoring, emotional abuse, and coercive control.
A single awkward act does not establish motive. What matters here is the pattern I experienced: power, access, escalation, and repeated boundary violations.
RAINN: Grooming ↗Watch for someone using authority, mentorship, professional access, status, or expertise to create unusual closeness or dependency.
RAINN: Grooming ↗Repeated privacy intrusions, unwanted touching, sexualized comments, “jokes,” pressure, or disregard for discomfort matter more when they form an escalating pattern.
RAINN: Red flags ↗Constant monitoring, location tracking, excessive jealousy, intimidation, isolation, or efforts to control another person's decisions are recognized warning signs of abuse.
The Hotline: Warning signs ↗Secrecy, private communication, discouraging other relationships, or creating reasons for one-on-one access can reduce outside perspective and increase control.
RAINN: How grooming works ↗Guilt, threats, repeated pressure, exploiting intoxication or vulnerability, and ignoring a refusal are forms of coercion—not consent.
RAINN: Coercion ↗Harmful behavior can coexist with a reputation for being helpful, friendly, respectable, or safe.
RAINN: Grooming ↗My memory is my account of what happened. The documentary record preserves the surrounding facts: injuries, dates, communications, witnesses, movement, policy, and institutional action.
Medical care, a sexual-assault forensic examination, and documentation of the physical aftermath.
Images from the night and photographs documenting injuries afterward.
Calls, transportation records, photographs, and other time markers preserving the surrounding chronology.
Statements and information from people present before, during, and after the event.
Emails, directives, policy language, the notice of investigation, dismissal communications, and my administrative appeal.
The fuller account appears above. This section preserves only the major points in order.
Luca put a tracker in my backpack. Several days later, I found it and returned it to him.
The assault occurred during an off-campus Phi Alpha Delta event.
I sought medical care, underwent a sexual-assault forensic examination, and began reporting what happened.
I filed a formal complaint. The university issued directives and a notice of investigation, later dismissed the complaint, and I appealed.
I raised procedural concerns publicly and continued work around transparency and retaliation protections.
My appeal was organized around procedural irregularity, new evidence, and bias. I challenged whether I had received the evidence used before the complaint was closed, whether I had been given an opportunity to respond, whether the stated dismissal grounds matched the written policy, and whether the appeal route described to me matched the appeal route actually printed in the policy.
That experience changed the way I understand institutional accountability. A right on paper matters. So does what follows in practice.
The written policy I reviewed permitted appeals from dismissal. I used that provision and filed the appeal anyway.
The appeal compared the process I experienced with the policy's stated opportunity for parties to inspect and respond to evidence before the investigation concluded.
A separate public site focused on the broader social, organizational, and institutional history surrounding UAlbany Phi Alpha Delta and the response to my report. The site states that it is not endorsed by or partnered with UAlbany or Phi Alpha Delta.
Open the Related Archive ↗Phi Alpha Delta Law Fraternity, International describes its mission as service to the student, school, profession, and community, and lists values including integrity, compassion, courage, professionalism, service, diversity, and innovation.
Phi Alpha Delta International ↗Support can mean different things at different moments: a confidential advocate, stalking-specific guidance, campus rights, legal information, financial assistance, help supporting someone else, or simply something steady enough to get through the next hour.
Call one advocate. Save one document. Ask one question. Try one grounding exercise. You do not have to decide everything at once.
Safety, information, medical care, legal advice, money, sleep, company, distraction, and ordinary pleasure can all matter.
Hotlines, confidential advocacy, referrals, and immediate support.
02 / STALKINGDocumentation tools, stalking-specific support, and New York law.
03 / CAMPUSTitle IX, Clery, Article 129-B, campus support, and OCR.
04 / LEGALOrders of protection, victim compensation, reporting, and other routes.
05 / SUPPORT SOMEONEHow to listen, offer choices, and help without taking over.
06 / BEYOND CRISISMusic, crafts, grounding, movement, guided mindfulness, and ordinary routine.
Free, confidential support and referrals to local sexual-assault services, medical care, and reporting resources.
Advocates can help with crisis support, safety planning, local programs, and understanding practical options.
Statewide confidential support and referrals for domestic and sexual violence, available in most languages.
Confidential referrals for victims of crime, including legal services, counseling, housing, compensation assistance, and local victim programs.
For one part of stalking in the fourth degree, “following” includes unauthorized tracking of a person's movements or location through GPS or another device. Whether specific conduct satisfies every legal element depends on the facts.
Read § 120.45 ↗SPARC publishes a stalking handbook, incident and behavior documentation logs, safety-planning material, and resources addressing technology-facilitated stalking.
SPARC Survivor Resources ↗ Documentation Log ↗The U.S. Department of Education formally rescinded the 2024 rewrite in September 2026 and reinstated the 2020 regulation in the Code of Federal Regulations.
Federal Title IX Regulations ↗Current federal guidance requires the Title IX coordinator to discuss supportive measures with a complainant regardless of whether a formal complaint is filed and to explain the formal-complaint process.
Title IX FAQ ↗OCR says a complaint ordinarily must be filed within 180 days of the last act of discrimination. A waiver may be requested for good cause. Federal law does not require completion of the school's internal process before filing with OCR.
OCR Filing Guidance ↗For dating violence, domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking, Clery requirements include written explanations of rights and options, certain accommodation information, and prompt, fair, impartial disciplinary procedures.
Clery Act Overview ↗Article 129-B covers sexual assault, dating violence, domestic violence, and stalking and includes affirmative consent, alcohol/drug amnesty, a students' bill of rights, response procedures, confidential-disclosure options, and prevention education.
Read Article 129-B ↗New York Education Law § 6444 addresses reporting options, emergency Title IX access, preservation of evidence, confidential resources, no-contact orders, help obtaining orders of protection, and reasonable academic, housing, employment, transportation, and other measures.
Read § 6444 ↗Depending on the case and court, an order of protection can direct a person not to injure, threaten, harass, or contact someone and can include stay-away terms.
NY Courts: Orders of Protection ↗OVS compensation categories can include medical or counseling costs, transportation, lost earnings, relocation, home-security devices, and other eligible losses connected to crime.
NYS OVS ↗The National Domestic Violence Hotline notes that some survivors may prefer to contact a victim-services or special-crimes unit, report from a hospital or service provider, or bring a supportive person or advocate.
Reporting Options ↗VAWA includes housing protections for victims of domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault, and stalking in covered housing programs, subject to the statute's terms.
VAWA Housing Rights ↗RAINN's TALK framework is a concise guide for responding to a disclosure with trust, validation, and choice.
RAINN TALK Guide ↗The National Domestic Violence Hotline recommends asking rather than assuming what help a survivor wants and centering the survivor's knowledge of their own situation.
How to Help ↗UCLA Mindful offers free guided practices as short as three minutes, including a short body scan and body-and-sound meditation, plus breathing, loving-kindness, working-with-difficulty, and sleep practices. You can choose the length instead of committing to a “practice.”
VA PTSD Coach Online has simple grounding exercises designed to orient attention to what is physically present—touch, sound, the room, and the body. Grounding can be done with eyes open and does not require clearing your mind.
The VA's free Mindfulness Coach app was built by the National Center for PTSD. It includes education, guided exercises, gradual skill-building, reminders, and a practice log. It can be used on its own or alongside professional care.
Instead of one giant “healing playlist,” make smaller ones: grounding, anger, driving, showering, sleeping, cleaning, dancing, or music you loved before the event. The point can simply be changing the sensory environment.
Cut paper. Paint badly. Bead jewelry. Arrange photographs. Make a tiny book. Repair clothes. Work with clay. Creativity can be private, repetitive, ugly, funny, unfinished, or thrown away. It does not have to become “trauma art.”
A walk, stretch, yoga video, skating, gardening, dancing in a room, or changing environments may be enough. The goal can be rhythm, temperature, orientation, or getting out of your head—not exercise achievement.
One notebook can hold dates, documents, contacts, and questions. Another can hold poems, grocery lists, collages, jokes, rage, dreams, books to read, or nothing important. A life should not have to remain formatted like a case file.
Cook something complicated. Rewatch something stupid. Browse a bookstore. Sit outside. Pet an animal. Rearrange a room. Go thrifting. Make dessert. Small ordinary pleasures matter because they return time and attention to things the harm does not own.
This resource desk is for public education and orientation, not individualized legal or medical advice. Laws, policies, deadlines, jurisdiction, and available remedies depend on the facts and can change. External organizations linked here are independent and do not endorse this site.
These terms can name patterns of control, coercion, surveillance, confusion, and attachment. A label is most useful when it clarifies behavior—not when it replaces the facts.
Repetition, escalation, power, isolation, surveillance, fear, dependency, and reduced freedom usually matter more than one isolated behavior.
Use the language that helps explain what happened. You do not need every label for harmful behavior to matter.
RAINN describes grooming as a process that can involve special attention, trust-building, isolation, secrecy, role creep, boundary violations, and increasing control. RAINN uses the term most specifically for children, teens, and at-risk adults; in adult abuse, related ideas include coercion, manipulation, and power and control.
RAINN: Grooming ↗The National Domestic Violence Hotline describes tactics such as denying events, questioning memory, diverting the subject, trivializing concerns, refusing to engage, or repeatedly framing the other person as confused or unstable.
The Hotline: Gaslighting ↗In abusive dynamics, manipulation may involve guilt, intimidation, humiliation, isolation, jealousy, blame shifting, threats, withholding affection, or pressure. The issue is not whether people influence each other; it is how power is being used.
The Hotline: Emotional Abuse ↗The National Domestic Violence Hotline describes domestic violence as a pattern of behaviors used to gain or maintain power and control. Tactics may include intimidation, isolation, emotional abuse, economic control, coercion, threats, monitoring, and physical or sexual violence.
Power & Control Wheel ↗The Hotline discusses excessive praise, attention, or gifts as a warning sign when the intensity is later used to manipulate, create obligation, or contrast with mistreatment.
The Hotline: Emotional Abuse ↗Psychologist Jennifer Freyd developed DARVO to describe a response in which someone confronted about wrongdoing denies the conduct, attacks the person raising it, and recasts themselves as the harmed party.
Freyd / Harsey: DARVO ↗Cleveland Clinic describes trauma bonding as an unhealthy emotional attachment that may be reinforced when abuse or manipulation alternates with affection, apologies, calm, kindness, or perceived safety.
Cleveland Clinic: Trauma Bonding ↗Stalking can include repeated contact, following, appearing at locations, threats, monitoring, account misuse, third-party contact, or technology-facilitated tracking. SPARC emphasizes documenting the conduct as a pattern.
SPARC Resources ↗Sexual coercion can involve repeated pressure, guilt, threats, intimidation, exploitation, or taking advantage of vulnerability in ways that undermine a person's meaningful freedom to choose.
RAINN: Sexual Pressure ↗Questions about drinking, clothing, prior intimacy, delayed reporting, continued contact, freezing, appeasing, memory, or imperfect reactions become victim blaming when they imply that the survivor caused or deserved the violence.
RAINN: Delayed Reporting ↗A familiar model describes tension building, an abusive incident, reconciliation, and calm. It can help explain why periods of kindness or relief do not erase a larger pattern of harm.
Fear, hostility, monitoring, intimidation, or controlling behavior may increase.
Physical, sexual, emotional, financial, technological, or other abuse occurs.
Apologies, affection, promises, minimization, blame shifting, or renewed closeness may follow.
A quieter period may create relief or hope. It may be brief, absent, or replaced by continued control.
Luca stalked and sexually assaulted me. I reported what happened, preserved the record, and challenged the processes that followed. This site keeps those parts of the history in one place without asking one part to stand in for all the others.